All Hail the Pretzel King!

Eating lunch

Who knew my poor son would be called upon to hand feed his father before I’m in my 90s?

With my new feeding tube, I will get enough nutrition-2500 calories a day- to keep me alive. Can and should also eat and drink as much as I can orally.

I thought we’d try out adding Ensure to the feeding tube today. My nutrition cans are still being ordered (insurance).

Isn’t that cool? No, not it’s weird and/dumb.

Hello all of my loyal subjects. Thanks for checking in again with the pretzel king of Toledo. In the news today, the pretzel king now has a sizable hole in his stomach, which contains a port, which will allow him to take in liquid nutrition to 2 to five times a day to get some calories. The procedure took a little extra time, The doctor said my stomach muscle was so amazingly strong and hard that it was difficult to get the port in through the muscle. Lol. I can hear the guffawing from here.

Kind of hurts a little more than I thought it would, but that should only last a couple of days, and I still have some really really nice painkillers for my throat. Which is why my writing today may be even more incoherent than it is most days. I am at home, convalescing on the couch, and basically going down YouTube holes.

So the port will have to stay in at least a month, but I have heard from others who have had it done that it really helped them maintain their energy level during their chemo and radiation treatments. And, of course, I’m going to need all of my strength to deal with the horrible collapse of the Detroit Lions last night. The similarities between the Detroit Lions and the Cleveland Browns continue to amaze. Tantalizingly close to actually getting to a Super Bowl, and then their receivers start dropping footballs all over the place. What a bummer. I was so hoping to sell a lot of party packs of pretzels to lions fans on February 11.

Of course, anyone playing to watch the game at all are welcome to order their party packs ahead of time, we probably won’t take any new orders after the ninth.

I think my son Alex may come over this afternoon to help out, and if we’re very very lucky, Stacey may not have to go into work on her only day off in two weeks.

THANK YOU ALL for all of the kind thoughts, prayers, and well wishes. They Continue to bolster my spirits and give me the strength I need. please know that I am sending twice as many of those kindnesses out to all of you!

Have a Pretzel Day!

PS- chemo starts again tomorrow

Yesterday was an amazing day! After two days off radiation the throat was a teeny bit better, the Store was busy all day- best day in over 2 weeks.

The evening was Fan-Tas-Ic though. My kids may have sensed i was pretty down on Friday, because they came over before we got home from work and made a De-Lich dinner for Stacey, fed Suki, and REALLY boosted my spirits! They are such wonderful people.

I was for real choked up by how awesome they are. Of course that hurts like the Dickens (where does that expression come from?). I think it might have been the best gift I’ve ever received, at least since Stacey said yes! I am a seriously lucky man. Thank thank thank you to my incredible children- Shelby, Alex, and Colby!

I KNOW, twice in a one day???

But I’ve gotta know- even you for whom having a sex offender and bully is an anathema- do you really think he will pay one single cent of the over $83 mil?First, the fascist will do what he always does. Just refuse. Then, when they try to get him to follow the law, he will spend millions in donations exhausting every attempt for decades. Well, really his loser lawyers really only need to delay until next January- when the new King of America pardons himself for everything. Best of all, cult zombies will keep sending endless money to him! So he’ll even get richer! Do you all have your fealty oaths prepared?

And to you non-zombies who just don’t like your only other option? It is not debatable that statistically, every vote NOT for Biden IS a vote for the makeup man! (his makeup really is covering up the fact that his skin is pale, pale white – hair colored by himself- and proves he IS a ZOMBIE!

Note- as much as I love you all- I would gladly sell my pretzels in either Europe- Prague? Germany? Rather than kneel in front of a fascist. Too bad nobody over there will have me. 😞

We are very pleased here at the pretzel king to see that Republicans have again decided that compromise is an evil thing that should be never ever agreed to. Apparently being right 100% is the only option. Too bad they can’t agree always on what that option is to be. Oh yeah, it’s very easy. Whatever the orangutang says. All of you fanatics and cultists, you’re about to get what you want again. I hope for your sakes that you all prosper in the next four years of tyranny. Of course, I very much doubt that once the moron gets in there, he will ever leave. The RICH will certainly prosper. And there is NO Robin Hood to save us. Those of you who want to get Rich in the next few years you should definitely start a company building luxury yachts.

And now, back to our regular scheduled programs, still in progress…

We are very excited that the kings sister Barbara may be coming to visit soon. I miss my family. So glad to hear also that sister Susan seems to have taken the upper hand on her big C. Of course I never had any doubt, the big C is no match for Susan Browning.

To those of you who are wondering, they don’t seem to be able to add a Big Mac to my intravenous drip. Sucks.

We hope you all have a pretzel weekend!

…or Light Therapy? Well, there is music, and a nice view of a small field…

Nope, actually I thought it was Keto Therapy. You know, weight loss thru red meat!

Turns out, dammit, that instead of burgers with no bun, they want to inject me with drugs! I mean, actual doctors giving me actual drugs through injection?!? Malpractice, I tell ya. plus I gotta sit there for like, two (2) hours. I’ve got better things to do man. Like sell delicious salty hot jumbo soft pretzels.

Of course, most of you know i don’t really MAKE them. Selling dough is the way I make dough! That’s why I’m the Pretzel King of Toledo!

I was able to hang with my father in law for few hours though and that was fun. Then went to Schmuckers for one of my all time favorite meals- corned beef and hash, three eggs, and crisp bacon! Never mind that it tasted horrible. Not their fault- my throats fault. Bummer. But I got a bunch of calories in, which will make my radiation doctor happy- he threatened me again with a feeding tube. I keep trying to tell him I could lose 40 lbs and be more healthy, but he says this is not the time to try to do that. jerk.

Anyone wanna do some walking? On non chemo days, I gotta greet outta the house for once in a while. And I’m afraid I’m losing muscle too. I know, all my fans would say I didn’t have any to begin with. Jerks.

So next I gotta make up a schedule for all my drugs, and other remedies I’m supposed to take 2,3, even four times a day. yikes!

Thanks for reading, now go away!

Buzz

I warned you folks that I might post non-health related thoughts..

I confess I jumped on the Lions Bandwagon last year. Like the coach, they way they play. The Browns got about as far as they could with so many key players missing a bunch of games or more. Now it’s time for another team with no Super Bowls in the modern football era to WIN! Great game today. Proud that we did our part- our Ben’s Pretzels gave a FREE JUMBO PRETZEL for everyone who came in wearing Lions gear. More than 7 fans got a delicious salty treat today. Stay tuned to see what we might do for the next game!

On another note, I restart my chemo tomorrow. I would not expect much from The King until Tuesday. Radiation continues- Good News: the tumors are finally getting smaller. Bad News: I still cannot taste anything…well, more accurately EVERYTHING I eat or drink tastes like a$$. Kinda like having the taste of sour milk in your throat, all the time. Makes even thinking of food make my stomach churn. Yuck. But I’m confident that even though I’m losing weight, my taste buds will come back in a few weeks (and so will the weight).

Last thoughts (those of you who wave a confederate flag may tune out here)…

Not sure how some folks I know, who claim to believe that morals count- will vote for a guy who was convicted, by a jury, of sexually assaulting a woman, and then lying about it, and then slandered her, was ordered to pay her $5 mil, then said equally offensive lies AGAIN, is someone they’d put in charge of our country. How can you say honesty counts when your guy lies dozens of time a day? This scumbag never goes to church, but church goers support him. He’s never read any of the bible (nor ANY book- see interview), stole his medical records from his doctor, stole military secrets, and was buddies with Epstein (see pics). But character counts? That means those folks accept the Orange Idiot cheating on three wives, paying off porn stars, his bullying, tax cheating, his leering at beauty contestants in their dressing room, etc. etc etc. So all those folks MAY NOT judge anyone else. Thieves, frauds, even sexual predators must be accepted, promoted, even voted to the highest office in the world. Admit you are a complete hypocrite, or simply admit you don’t care about criminal behavior in anybody.

Thanks for being a part of the Pretzel King’s Kingdom!

The daily pounding of x-rays on my throat is finally leaving its mark. Lost my sense of taste recently. Strange. Everything tastes…weird. Kinda off. Hard to get excited about eating. It’s a very unsettling thing- thinking about eating, all sorts of food, and none of it feels appetizing. Trying to keep eating anyway, but even water doesn’t taste right. But I have to try, otherwise they’ll make me take a feeding tube. Yuck.

I did get to go to the Cavs game last night with my dear friend Brian. Such a great guy, he has special tickets that get us access to a suite with all the food, beer, and wine you want. Makes me feel like a VIP. Usually, I try to take full advantage of the good food and drink. Less so now.

Damn. Mouth tastes awful all the time now. Oh, well. Enough complaining.

Store is slow this week- everyone come get a nice hot salty pretzel and a coffee tomorrow!

So for those of you keeping track, treatment has started for my head/neck cancer. Exciting stuff. Monday was the first day, radiation followed by chemo, but I had an allergic reaction to the first of two chemo drugs- Taxol. I felt like Jack Jack from the incredibles- my entire body was on FIRE! Plus shortness of breath, tightness of the chest, and pains shooting back n forth across my back. Wowsers! Had to stop that, of course. New drug needed for chemo, but as of today it hasn’t been approved by insurance. They are in no hurry obviously. But I did get to try the second chemo drug-Carboplatin, on Friday.

But first…had at 7:30 ENT appt. cancelled, a 10:00 with the Gastro who made me wait an hour and a half, then to the speech-language therapist at 12:45, then back to the cancer center to get a blood test (weekly), then radiation, THEN the second chemo drug. As always, preceded by an anti-nausea med, and a ton a benadryl. So of course I was knocked out the rest of the afternoon.

Feeling better today! Store had good numbers despite a slow start, and now Awesome Daughter no.1 (Shelby) is teaching me how to blog!

Ya’ll be careful out there!