Trying Hard not to laugh

It’s not yet 6 a.m. Still 4 hours to sunrise-jk.

It’s actually calling for 60* here in sunny Toledo. 5 days of treatment left!!!! I may yet have 1-2 more chemo treatments, but the radiation is the harder part by a longshot.

So what’s with Chemo?

My treatments are extra long because they want me hydrated. So, 2 our of water first. So slow and boring! But less painful than drinking that much water. Then a full supplements like steroids and anti-nausea, the two chemo meds are barely an hour. Now, I have been curious as to one of the few side-effects everybody knows about- hair loss. Some of my soldiers are stubbornly holding on, although they clearly cannot advance. Beard and mustache likewise have stayed neutral, with a small number still trying to advance and fight on (making scragglier). Hair farther away- legs and arms- seem to hanging on. Recently I tried shaving my butt hairs in attempt to leave them among the victims. It’s wasn’t a huge company anyways, but still, why not some strategic grooming? TMI?

Meanwhile all the bad side effects are due to the ACLU. ACLU, you ask? Thats my new name for the Anti-Cancer-Laser Unit. Feel free to use this great new term (copyright 2024). It is more deadly than the laser in Goldfinger. And their effects may take 2 months to go away, if ever!

By the way, what was Goldfinger trying to find out? That Mi5 new about his scheme? Did he not suspect the gig was up when he killed the incompetent FBI guys? And now you caught a Brit? Seems like you’d have a hard time concealing buying all that gold, training your own personal air force, etc. On the other hand, the 9-11 terrorists were right under our noses too…if only we’d seen that one coming (sarcasm detector here). Stopping terrorism-where money is not the motivator-may be the harder spy work.

Seems like stopping multi-billionaires from screwing the world for more money might be easier. Wait, what if a spy worked his/her way into one of Elon Musk’s factories? I’ll be at least one of them is inside a mountain/volcano/sunken island/ISS! And I’ll bet they ALL wear matching aluminum foil jumpsuits! And drive electric carts! Wait…He even looks like a super-villain. Where’s that accent from anyways? Can anyone else see him in a huge chair with a cat on his lap? Either Blofeld’s big Persian or the hairless nightmare of Dr. Evil? Admit it-you’re picturing it, aren’t you?

Did I go off on a rant just there? Well, nobody ever said writing blog posts at 6:00 a.m. after 4 weeks of sleep deprivation was a good idea. BUT back to our title- the kids have been cracking me up recently-some successful cheering up. It’s hard to fully explain how painful this experience is, but I gladly partake anyways. To help those of you who would like to call, but know I have no voice right now, all funny jokes, memes, etc are still appreciated.

Ya’ll have a Pretzel Day!!!